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In love? or lust?

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The problem with being a young adult is that we tend to feel too much, it’s all about the emotion, the feelings, what’s going on inside.

To me, love is a strong emotional bonding felt between two people, it’s a kind of magnetic attraction that just makes you feel you should be stood by that man, being his wingman (woman) 24/7 through thick and thin, but the issue with that is sometimes we get confused between love and lust. It is that same hypothetical magnetic attraction that causes you to want to get that girl alone all for yourself. You don’t want anyone else having her (him), you want her (him) as yours to do with, as you want and when you want, but that’s also how you feel when you love someone too. It’s difficult to decipher and so you end up telling that guy you love him when really you just want to feel what he’s got under those jeans. And you wouldn’t even notice. You put all these feelings you’re having together and decide it’s love, and after a little while you find that the feelings you thought you had begin to fade and you’re wondering how that could be, love doesn’t fade that quickly does it? You’ve already been into her panties, you’ve rolled around on his bed, you’ve made-out for as long as you could, you’ve talked about things that you want to do, you’ve also said you love her, you’ve blushed at his every word, you’ve behaved like a love-sick child but it’s going away now. Why?

It’s gone now. Your body has been satisfied, maybe your mind hasn’t, you’re in a state of confusion and you start playing up, you can’t focus, you can’t seem to understand why things are happening like this and it’s making you angry, all that emotional investment just to satisfy your bodily needs.

Why weren’t you satisfied with the guy you regularly see to satisfy yourself?

Why did you need to invest emotion into this one, all for it to fade because it was just lust?

I know, it’s weird, I don’t have the answer this time guys. I actually don’t know, and I wish someone would explain it to me. It’s something I’d never get my head around. Lust in disguise as love, how do you figure it out?

Code Named: Invisi-Girl

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Hey guys, it’s been a while hasn’t it. Well, I’ve been stuck in Nigeria and haven’t had much time to write since I have been working super hard on revision for my exams coming up. Today I just felt the need to.

 Sometimes I wish nobody knew my name. Sometimes I wish that I could do whatever I wanted and nobody would even bat an eyelid my way. Sometimes I just want to be invisible to the world. On the occasion I get a question like, “if you had a super power, what would it be?” I always answer with having an invisibility coat and/or teleportation. The thing is I probably won’t do anything exciting with my invincibility coat. Code named, “Invisi-Girl”, I won’t rob a bank, because I have a guilty conscience that I can never get rid of, I won’t mess with unsuspecting random people because I’d feel terrible afterwards and I definitely won’t do anything as adventurous as get on a plane and travel to anywhere I want to go, because I probably won’t have a seat and I get really air-sick. So, I would probably sit in a lonely corner by myself somewhere busy, where I can people-watch all day because that’s what I like to do. I like to imagine everyone else’s life, are they happy? Are they sad? Is she a psychopath or a sociopath? Is he a lying, cheating, walking whorehouse? I wonder what their kink is? How different are they from me? Every one of these people is so different, yet so similar to each other, but we all think we are so different from each other. We are all looking for a “uniqueness” that isn’t really there. We want to look different, talk different, act different, be different, but the truth is your difference doesn’t really make you different it just makes you a part of the different group. Because of this want to be different, nobody seems to be himself or herself anymore, but there are some people who can claim to not want to be different, they are different in this way.

 To be honest, I don’t think anyone is really himself or herself. Most people don’t even know who they are deep within them. They have too many faces, too many personalities; they have lost who they really are. I have lost who I really am. I don’t know which face is the real me. So I reinvent, and I reinvent again till I am comfortable in this face. A face that represents the kind of person that I want to be, the kind that I feel I should be and living in that face makes me behave in that way. It is, however, necessary to change faces, you can’t be emotional, and open to everyone, sometimes you just have to be that stonehearted witch because it fits the situation. The issue is having too many faces because you forget which one you really are.

I wish people would stop being so overdramatic about the issue of everyone wanting to be different, but really aren’t different because they all want to do it. Be different, dye your hair, get rings in half of your face, plastic surgery, cut your hair, dress like a gypsy, do what you want to do a long as that is the face you choose and you are comfortable in that face alone without too many other faces that would allow you lose touch with the you, you want to be.

 

All New Music Video: Chris Brown – Loyal ft. Lil Wayne & Tyga

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atomeakins:

It’s been a long time since i’ve posted anything on one song that completely moved me since Break From Toronto. I know there is a lot of talk on how although the video is awesome it is “overhyped”. Stop now because I feel this song and it’s incredible video deserve the hype it’s receiving.
This is the Chris Brown I love! Where do I even begin!? The playfulness is catchy, the beats are crazy, the dancing is superb, the cameos, DID YOU SEE TREY? I love it, I love it, I love it. I can’t describe how or why, it just makes me so happy.
Watch & Enjoy x

Originally posted on Uncommonrealist:

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Leave God Alone

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Sometimes, we just have to leave God out of things.

The other day I recalled a conversation I had with an aunt and I remember her saying something like, “sometimes, when I ask one of the employees if they have done a piece of work or I set them some work, they reply with “by Gods Grace”, it drives me crazy! It sounds wrong, but what does God have to do with it?”, that sparked the initial idea for this post. It’s difficult because it’s a tender subject to talk about, as people always have their guard up when you want to talk about anything to do with religion but here I go.

As a Christian, God is my rock, my #1, but he won’t feed me whatever I need on a silver platter if I just sit on my bum lazing around, not working hard and expecting whatever I ask for to just arrive on my lap. In Nigeria, because of the way in which our country is structured, in that most people are of one religion or another, there is this common saying used after every command, every question, even after every statement, whatever it is, it must end with “by Gods grace”. I have to be extra careful with my words because I don’t want it to seem that I am saying that you shouldn’t go to God for help when you face a problem, what I am trying to get at, is that if you have a problem won’t you try? You can’t be lazy and be expectant. You have to work to get somewhere and when you reach the point where you have done everything you can then let God do the rest.

Imagine asking someone if they collected the right sum of money from the bank and they respond with “by Gods grace”, won’t you just think they are mad? What does God have to do with the question I just asked you? It’s a yes or no question!

Sometimes I worry about the future of us young adults because as we get older and technology is becoming more and more advanced, making things that used to be hard work a lot easier, would we be able to survive when we find ourselves in situations that may need a little more effort than we are used to? Would we become fat and lazy? I dream of becoming a product designer someday, but I fear that my intentions as a product designer to make life easier for future generations may actually lead to our downfall, especially in my country, Nigeria, where people are so lazy and rely on God to do everything for them. My country needs help.

#PrayForNigeria

Some Conversation Etiquette

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Before I start this post, I just want to point out that this is my blog. Quality Durex is my blog I, Tomisin, write these posts. The ideas don’t fall from the sky unto this word document, they come from the things that I see, the people I talk to, my experiences, the experiences of people I know. If you find your situation in my blog and you are my friend then well, suck it up, that’s the problem with having a blogger as a friend, at least I respect your confidentiality. Any issue with blog, should be addressed directly at me, not via another person, directly at me.

I can be playful, I can be soft and mushy, a little bit gay but I don’t know how to respond well to things that I deem stupid/pointless/upsetting or just insignificant because my temper is a real issue, so now that that is dealt with. 

Shut up. Why? Because I don’t actually care. If I did care I would have messaged you, called you, dm’ed you, even mentioned you, but I didn’t.

I didn’t forget you, I have nothing to say to you and I personally don’t see the point in starting a conversation when there is no point of the conversation because this is how it would go:

Unpleasant Individual: Hey, you forgot me…

Me: *rolling my eyes* Oh, did I.

UI: Yeah, how are you?

Me: I’m great, you?

UI: Good, how’s life?

Me: Life’s great, yours?

UI: Same

Me: …

UI: So, how are the boys *that disgusting winky face*

Me: None of your business/Fine

UI: Cool

Terminates conversation

This is most disgusting conversation ever.

How dare you insult me with a phrase like “you forgot me”, from the start you have already pissed me off, I will not make the effort to make the conversation work. This UI then has the audacity to go ahead and ask, “How are the boys?” I wish I could post a picture of my face right now but that’s just far too embarrassing for my shy self, but I am outraged, disgusted and upset. Except for the fact the statement in itself shows off your lack of manners, you then made the word “boy” plural, because of what? Don’t piss me off. Its even worse because this is the conversation I just had with an ex I haven’t seen in like 2 years or whatever it is now.

Get some manners and learn some conversation etiquette before speaking to me.

This UI will then claim you as a friend. Friendship works two ways. For me, it’s a relationship between two individuals that work on each other, that are beneficial to each other, are there for each other when needed and when they aren’t, someone you can talk to, someone you don’t have to lie to, someone you can be trust, someone worth having in your life. My best friend is half way across the globe from me, we can go a month without speaking but the day one of us decides this is too much and texts the other it’s almost as if she never left. To me that’s a friendship worth remembering.

I don’t forget people; I just have nothing to say to you. I’d speak to you when I need you, or I feel like talking to you again, if not you can do the same to me. It sounds so wrong to say that but it’s the truth.

Public Display of Affection

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Yes this is for you, all you loved up couples sitting together cuddling or holding hands.

I have nothing against public display of affection (PDA) per say but there’s something the prickles my soul when two people behave all lovey-dovey right under my nose. I don’t whether it is me just being green-eyed or I’m experiencing a mini allergic reaction from looking at another person’s public love antics but I seem to have the same symptoms I get when I notice my nut allergy playing up. I guess it’s because the only person I can do that with is 6749km hours away, which is about 100hours if I drove if you add possible traffic time.  The problem with LDRs is that they make so damn bitter at every other couple in this world, well the ones that get to see themselves often, especially the ones in the same damn school. If you happen to be one of these couples I don’t blame you at all, because if I was in your shoes I’d probably do the same thing and give 0 fucks.

I’m not here to rant about why I hate seeing people kissing in from of me, or why I can’t stand the love-doviness that seems to be becoming more and more occasional now that its spring and everyone is sat in the middle of the paths smooching like they hadn’t seen all winter, no. I am here to rant about why it is not fair on me!

Over 6000 miles away! I’m pissed. Today I just had a generally bad day, nothing wrong, I was jut in a bad mood for the last half of the day for absolutely no reason and all I wanted was to curl up on a couch with M and watch a movie but nope. Instead I was sitting in my room with the most unpleasant view ever, two lovesick individuals enjoying a bit of PDA amidst a group of friends outside my window on the grass, enjoying the sunlight. Pleasant. It didn’t annoy me as such, I just felt a little jealous, but are you the forhst (first)!

Well, you are not to blame because I know what I’m like in public and I don’t care. I imagine my friends to be in the situation I get myself in when confronted with such a delicate situation, so I have learnt from having to watch far too many people stick their tongues into each others biggest facial holes more times than necessary weekly, to be more thoughtful for the sake of the people around me. Take my advice because if you end up like me, scowling at every happy couple you will become a bitter wretched soul and nobody will love you. Shikena! Capish!

M

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I wasn’t made for this,

But this is what I want to be.

I wasn’t made for love,

But I was made out of love,

And I want to show you love.

I want to prove to you that I can be all that you need,

That I can be all that you can live for,

That you can be all that you can breath

Eat and love.

Because I eat, sleep, drink, want, need, wake, and love you.

I am you.

1 + 1 makes us 2 separate people

Unattached, no unity

1 x 1 makes us 1

Me and you, one.

You didn’t understand that when I told this to you,

It may be too late now but I hope that isn’t true.

I don’t know how else I can show you,

That I live for you,

Through and through

 

Because my love for you runs deeper than I thought,

And my mistakes just show it to me more

That this is now, and this is true

My love for you runs deeper than I thought.

So if you trust in me,

I’d trust in you

My word is all I have

And my heart is true.

 

I promise never to hurt you.