Mind Dribble II

Lately, I’ve had the chance to think a lot, especially with me always catching the wrong bus going in the opposite direction and the long journey backwards again. I’m not the best person with relationships, well I haven’t exactly been the best over the last couple years but what I do know is when I finally feel comfortable in my relationship, there is no one that has the power to make me break the trust that I share with this person. I mean, no one. Which leads me right to where I’m going, persistence. The persistent individual in your life that just won’t give up. Sometimes, persistence is great. Persistence gets you places, allows you to reach goals you ordinarily won’t if you just let it go after the first try. However, if I decide to tell you to back off because I believe you may be a threat to my relationship then I expect you do so, not say something like, “don’t worry it won’t ever get out” or “I’m careful, our secret is safe with me”, or even “it’s not really considered cheating though.”  That’s the shit I hate. Firstly, “our secret” will get out, nothing is hidden under the sun. Secondly, I know you will tell someone, be it your best friend or some guy/girl you’re trying to show off to, you will tell, that is the honest truth, do not let anyone deceive you. Keep your guard up; don’t let anyone take that sort of power over you.

Which brings me to my next thought bubble.

I’m different. To you I may be weird, odd, common, normal, bad, good, whatever I am, I am different to different people, and so are you. Growing up in a Christian home, with a Christian family, in a country that is in the middle of a religious war, but becoming my own woman has been difficult. Coming from a country that passed a law to imprison people are seen to be gay for 14 years, and being a woman that doesn’t accept this law is a struggle, as my beliefs differ from that of those that brought me up. I d not believe it is right to lock someone up for 14 years because they happen to love someone of the same sex. Yes, according to the bible I read it is wrong but to me, love is simple. You fall in love with someone that happens to be the same sex, it’s your love, and it’s also your life. I do not support gay marriage in the church because that’s a step too far but I do believe in love, and I believe love can be shared between any two people. You’d hear them say “I’d never smoke, I’d never drink, I’m too young, I’m just 17, I will never have sex before marriage…” Don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t have sex before marriage, but just don’t enforce your opinions on me. If I want to do any of these things I will do it with a clear conscience, it would be my decision regardless of what you think is good for me. I know exactly what the bible says about all of these, I know the way in which I have been brought up leads me to follow the rules of the bible. However, it’s my decision to follow it or not, my choice. I am a Christian. I agree with most of the bible but some I don’t exactly follow, does that make me a bad Christian? Or not even a Christian at all? I don’t have the answers. I’m just trying to live my life happy, with people I love surrounding me, enjoying my youth, trying new things, experimenting and making other people happy because that’s my decision, and I’m sure as hell sticking to it.

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“Once a hoe…”

In this post I’m going to refer to a girl or guy as a hoe, it’s really up to you to decide who or how to define this hoe.

I’d start by saying that there is truth in the saying, “once a hoe, always a hoe”. I don’t dispute this at all, because it’s true, once you have gone in a certain direction and acquired certain behaviors, it is difficult to then turn around one day and say you’re through with that life because whatever your reason for deciding to turn things around it will not be easy at all. All the people from that time will not suddenly die out and forget how you were, the people you met during that period of your life will only know you that way and it is really difficult to change someone’s impression of you which is why first impression’s are so important. The behaviors you also acquired cannot be easily uprooted from the foundation you have already laid over it. One cannot simply change.  Those people are also unlikely to let you “change”, you’d hear someone say “I hate girls that suddenly decide they can change”, enemies of progress would always be in your way and the temptation is real. The temptation to allow yourself be loose again, the temptation to stop trying and especially the temptation to forget your goal or the reason you decided to embark on this journey to “change”. Your mind set may be different but your body is also your enemy, and she/he won’t be happy with this decision but you are in control of your body though it may tease and lure you back, you can withstand the temptation.

I am saying that a hoe cannot not be a hoe but to a degree you can actually change. Pull in your reigns and subject your hoe-ness to one person only. I like to think Beyoncé is like that, not that she is a hoe but everyone wants her, I want her, but Jay Z has it all. Surfboard. There is only one man she can fully have her way with, though she may tease the rest of us mere mortals, Bey knows what she’s doing. Be like Bey! It’s hard, but there is a way out. There would always be people that are persistent, even after years and years of shunning they just don’t quit but you can overcome it and the feeling at the end is amazing. Love that person, be honest with that person, and don’t allow any surprises, be strict with yourself and be a hoe for your man/girl, that’s all I’m saying.