Pyrophobia

A little bit of advice I have for my readers today.

I used to not be scared of fire; I could light a match easily, wave my hand over a candle and get giddy from the adrenaline rush. Till the day I sat on the cold floor of my room, lit a scented candle (I think it was lavender and rosebush) and a piece of A4 paper fell out of my book on top of it. I managed to pick it up on one end without burning myself but on my way out of my room it started to burn the tips of my fingers and I dropped it under my computer, where all the wires were. My heart must have stopped because I froze, my mind was racing, my heart was beating fast but my body remained frozen almost like it wanted me to stay there and die (a possible cause for the hatred I used to feel for my body). It went out. My AC must have been on 16 degrees because the floor was freezing and the coolness put out the fire. It left a mark, a constant reminder that I could have burnt down my house and/or killed myself, since then I couldn’t light a match, I get my little brother to light a match if there is no light and I want to cook and my lighter just sits redundant till someone else comes along and lights it for me.

 My fear has stopped me from doing something I love, whenever I want to. It has stopped me from being prepared for the worst. There is a passage in the bible that goes something like “The fear of man lays a trap, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe”, basically I’m saying that you should not let your fears control you, trust the Lord and be delivered from whatever you afraid of whether it be something as small as my fear of fire or a life-changing event because just like the thot in your dm it’s all an illusion, it’s a trap, a lie. 

more stuff later x